Haha! I’m back my donkeys

Haha! Hi my donkeys! I have some good gossip for you guys, and it’s an incredibly long story.

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Photo by Chung Wing Yeung 2010© CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

As you know, last time I left off I was taking off for the moon… I believe so. Well, there’s a ton that happened within that span. After that, it was a rollercoaster of emotions, escapes, and sabotages! Whoo! This may seem a little crazy, but I actually found them… AGAIN! They were writing on this blog… I read all of the trending posts, somewhat exposing me, but it’s 2017, isn’t there a sexuality for ogre yet? OGRE LIVES MATTER! Anyways, yes, I sexually identify as a trans-human, I was born in the wrong body and gender, you feel? So, I have been doing a little bit of flying and I finally located that hot mess of a group of friends and they have totally taken me the wrong way! I just want to document their lives in a way that’ll make them as rich and famous as the Kardashians, a total fake group of people who don’t have to work a day in their life! But, they had taken me the wrong way… A crazy stalker who flies through people’s’ windows at night… But that’s not really me… You see, I was just looking for something to live for, my parents had abandoned me at a young age when they realized that my father was secretly part ogre and I had become a full ogre. My mother was disgusted and left us… My father was abusive and drank a lot, resulting in his untimely suicide. I was left alone, I had no other way to go. I was bullied by the other kids because I was green and they said I acted like a girl, always wanting to talk about other people the way that girls do. I was best friends with Kail during preschool, just a couple a queer boys that didn’t know anything. I met Linhy in 3rd grade, briefly asking what “abstemious” meant. I still didn’t understand what he said, something about temperance. Kail had ditched me, told me he couldn’t hang out with the gay boys anymore, and that he’d never be friends with a gay guy like me. There they all were, making fun of me because Kail led the group. It was right to document their sorry lives, because one day, they won’t have those anymore…

Back on track my donkeys! ANYWHOO, I had found their plane on the way the Thailand, there Kail was… holding hands with little Brad when it should’ve been me. I should’ve been on that plane if only he hadn’t been a little straight boy who’s scared of the world. Linhy… He’s been secretly mocking me my entire life, acting so smart as if he were better at grammar than I were at grammar. I was infuriated. All I did was knock out the pilot, a little pixie dust or something to the windshield and it popped right off, sucking the pilots out. Down Justine’s plane went, so quickly, too. I wish that it went slower. I wanted the hear their screams, so I went into the cabin where they all were. Kail’s eyes meet mine, and I feel a sudden wave of remorse. I can remember that feeling, I still don’t understand why I felt that way. I jumped off, and watched the plane go down in flames. I did it. I finally murdered those who haunted my childhood. Or so I thought.

I must continue this story for another time. Gotta run!

ON MY WAY! STAY TUNED!

WOW! BIG THINGS HAPPENING! READ BELOW MY DONKEYS!

secret-agent-on-whiteWOW! I can’t believe it actually worked! I have befriended Justine, and GUESS WHAT! I’m on my way to the moon! Who knew that rockets had wi-fi? Anyways, the trip should take about 2-3 days, but I’m all good, I’ve got wi-fi and food, what else do I need? Justine may get her head taken off in a few hours though…She is really starting to get on my nerves by blasting Gossip Girl through her Netflix account. I guess that’s one thing we have in common…WE LOVE DRAMA! Currently, I’m wondering about what I’m going to find when I get up there… I don’t know… Kail is up there with a whole group of guys…Gay people to me are just…ugh! Who can agree with me?? But I doubt that anyone comes out as straight these days. ANYWAYS MY DONKEYS, I will update you on a BIG story after this is all over! STAY TUNED!

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!

I HAVE A HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT FOR YOU DONKEYS! READ BELOW, THERE IS IMPORTANT INFORMATION!

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So, as you can tell, there has been a gap in blog posts, and I have decided to follow for further investigation of our main stars, the crew, the tea squad, that we all SO desperately need. I have done some of my research, with a few rumors around school that the ENTIRE CREW has taken notice of my blog posts about them. They have fled the school. I can’t believe they figured this out WITHOUT telling me, AND thanking me! I made them famous didn’t I? I made them popular, as the ENTIRE school knows about this blog and about them! Say it with me everyone, E-X-P-O-S-E-D!! Anyways, I have heard rumors about where they went, and how they’re going to get there. THEY’RE GOING TO THE MOON! That seems impossible, but of course, Justine doesn’t ever keep her mouth shut. She said thank you, the only person who ever did, for making her even more popular than she was before! Now she has guys flocking ALL over her, my blogs posts confirming that she’s single for flirting with Kail. I still think that despite her popularity with the boys and the entire football team, that she will move on over Kail… Stubborn, sometimes I feel bad for the guy…JUST KIDDING! He’s just another person in the system who needs a little exposing for being so… secretive. I have a plan, befriend Justine, ask her for a spare rocket from her father’s space station, and guide it from there. I’m a natural at this flying stuff, I’ve been doing it all my life… 😉 If I find them there, this blog will be back and POPPING! The kind of gossip that’s incoming will be LEGENDARY! Stay tuned, my donkeys.

Signing off,

Alana

Wow! Read Below for the BIGGEST Plot Twist EVER!

Hello my Donkeys, I have the BIGGEST plot twist ever!

READ BELOW!!

 

Now that the blog is up and running, some of these things involve WAY more investigation. There I was, investigating the school cafeteria, making new pins on the scrawny new kid that fit himself right in with Linhy. I heard is name was Tiffano, his parents really spun it off of Fabio, I guess. I can’t believe he has the nerve to even think he’ll fit right in under the radar. I heard he had some kind of allergy, and it was quite rare, so I wondered if someone will trigger it today, just for the NEEDS. Anyways, here’s how it really went down.

I was sitting in the corner, chewing my apple casually when I noticed the flirtatious look in Justine’s eye when Kail strolled in, his buddies gathered around him. Justine rushed over to him, and that’s when they all ditched. I assume their conversation was uncomfortable and disgusting, I noticed how Kail fidgeted every time she smiled. She dragged him over and sat him down at her table, sitting him across from Linhy, and next to the new kid, who looked too interested in his book to care. But when Justine began to bug Kail, was when Tiffano looked up, in the path of a Cheez-It heading towards him, meant for Kail. Justine was dumb enough to close her own eyes when she told Kail to close his. I swear, her head must be filled with so much hot air, if it were ever released, the air would set on fire. THIS IS THE PART WHERE IT GOT INTENSE. Tiffano immediately spit out the snack, his face filled with fear and disgust. “Gosh, are they really that bad?” My initial thought was, but then what happens next is INSANE. TIFFANO HAD BEGUN TO TURN GREEN! It was my lucky day, getting all this good scoop from sitting back and watching. Sure, there were other people who witnessed this, but dismissed it for a drama kid putting on a Romeo and Juliet rehearsal again. But I, knew that this was no mere rehearsal, and intensely watched without being too obvious, of course. Soon, Tiffano’s lips turned a bright red and swelled up really bad, next his eyes. TIFFANO WAS PEPE. ISN’T THAT ONE OF THE BIGGEST PLOT TWISTS EVER?!? I COULD’NT BELIEVE MY EYES! Tune in next week for more drama, I’m sure there’s TONS more!

 

 

 

I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS HAPPENED

Read below my donkeys, I have some JUICY gossip you CANNOT MISS!

This month, December 2014, has had some of THE best gossip. I’m that one girl who stays in the back of the class taking notes on who has beef with who, and who likes who to keep tabs on those people for exposure! Need someone exposed? I’m your gal. Anyways, it all happened in the school library, where the school nerd, Linhy, was forced to tutor the hotheaded popular girl, Justine, who is an absolute idiot. If I had a dime for every time she made a stupid remark, I’d probably have that library dedicated to me. Just as Linhy was about to sit down to tutor Justine, after she was scolded multiple times not to flirt with the school jock, Kail, Justine ignored Linhy to go back to do “better things”. Kail is secretly gay. He can’t afford to ruin his good reputation, I guess. I always knew he was gay, the way he looked at his teammates, always as if his quarterback was more than just the quarterback to him. After many failed attempts to flirt with him, Justine eventually gave up and went to sit down and attempt to learn. She just made Linhy do it for her, she threatened to suspend him since her dad owns the school. Justine tried again, cornering Kail. Kail looked scared for his life, his life was probably flashing before his eyes, the fanatic ready to claw his eyes out. Kail found his way out, but he ran up the stairs, trying to beckon with her. She didn’t give up, fire burning in her eyes. KAIL FINALLY ADMITS HE’S GAY AS A WAY TO ESCAPE! OMG! I was shocked when I heard this…wait.. NOT REALLY. Everyone already knew this, but if they didn’t, HEAR AND READ IT FROM A WITNESS! Kail finds a way to escape, Justine pouting furiously. All of this drama had happened in a high school library, can you believe it? ALL I had to do was sit in a corner and take notes. It was as if I were watching a movie for free! Here’s one last game-changer though… As Justine was busy chasing Kail, she didn’t notice her short skirt ride up multiple times. I have discovered….

JUSTINE IS SECRETLY A GUY.